A family man from Wisconsin. A spirited artist from Hawaii. An Ivy League graduate from Maryland. At face value, Ryan Borgwardt, Hannah Kobayashi and Luigi Mangione lead distinct lives and come from disparate backgrounds. Yet, they all took unexpected paths, disappearing from their jobs, routines, friends and family.
Hundreds of thousands of adults are reported missing each year in the United States, according to data from the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Some run away intentionally, according to former FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe.
As an adult, you can just decide to leave your life and go start somewhere else, or go seek something, whatever that might be.
There are many reasons why a person would run, such as pressures at work, financial troubles, health issues, romantic relationships and social media, McCabe adds. These variables can lead to increased anxiety and stress, according to experts who note some people who don’t have the emotional tools to cope with these issues may find it is easier to opt out of their current life and start a new one.
Oftentimes, law enforcement designates these individuals as voluntary missing persons, McCabe said. This month, Kobayashi was declared a voluntary missing person after Los Angeles police say she traveled to the US Mexico border and crossed into Mexico alone.
As cases of missing Americans continue to captivate the public’s attention, this culmination of events is not necessarily a coincidence, according to Lauren Cook, a clinical psychologist who specializes in anxiety and is based in Los Angeles. It is not uncommon for adults with full lives to have passive thoughts about walking away from everything they know, Cook said. Before leaving Hawaii, Kobayashi had expressed a desire to disconnect from modern technology, according to the Los Angeles Police Department.
“When people don’t know how to self regulate, they can unfortunately make some really dire choices,” Cook said. Many people, through no fault of their own, are not taught how to self regulate as they develop into adults, she added.
In 2023, more than 563,000 missing person reports were recorded by the National Crime Information Center, a database run by the FBI and comprised of criminal data, including missing persons cases involving minors and adults.
For about half of those cases, optional criteria were used to help classify a person’s disappearance as an abduction or voluntary, according to an NCIC report. Of those cases, approximately 95% were labeled as runaways, data shows.
Some runaways may be responding to too much stimuli, Cook adds.
“When someone is so taxed neurologically day after day after day, eventually they’re not going to have the same cognitive capacities to make decisions as somebody who is well rested and feels capable of managing what’s going on in their life,” Cook said. Someone with an overloaded brain can begin to dissociate from their lives and ultimately become removed from their ability to empathize with others, Cook said.
Voluntary missing people and those in “extreme escapism situations” are more likely to make reckless decisions that not only harm themselves, but their loved ones as well, Cook added.
In recent years, the percentage of American adults reporting anxiety and depression symptoms significantly increased, according to the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. During 2022, about one in five adults aged 18 and older experienced any symptoms of anxiety (18.2%) or symptoms of depression (21.4%) during a two week period.
Anxiety and stress can have major health implications and can motivate people to do things they normally wouldn’t do, said Jeffrey Jensen Arnett, a developmental psychologist and senior research scholar in psychology at Clark University.
“Depression is different,” Arnett said. “Depression usually comes with a certain lassitude. You don’t feel like doing anything. But anxiety and stress are the opposite, and they make you want to do something to relieve that condition.”
Anxiety and stress can be managed through communication, therapy or medication, experts note.
Current anxiety levels are particularly elevated for people aged 18 to 29, Arnett said, noting the Covid 19 pandemic’s impacts on mental health. Cook agrees, noting the financial disparity between Millennials and Baby Boomers plays a role.
“Young adults today, they’re not able to afford housing, they’re barely living paycheck to paycheck,” Cook said. “They’re feeling so overwhelmed by all of these different things that they saw their parents do seemingly more easily, and that gets really defeating over time.”
Along with poor health care, increased cost of living and rampant gun violence in the US, the current political climate is prompting some Americans to consider leaving the country, Cook said.
When a person is so stressed they feel like a tea kettle ready to boil, Cook and Arnett say they should prioritize communication. Sometimes that looks like calling a friend.
“If the distress gets to the point where you feel like it’s interfering with your daily functioning and with your relationships, and that you really are on the verge of doing something extreme, then it’s time to get help,” Arnett said. “It’s time to talk to other people about it, especially the people you’re closest to.”
Withdrawing from family, friends and social media can be a signal something is wrong.
Anyone looking to make a drastic life change should try to include their loved ones in that decision, Cook said, so they don’t worry unnecessarily. “Our human brains go to the worst places,” she said. “It becomes problematic when people aren’t communicating their plans to walk away.”
Cook also recommends seeing a therapist to help relieve tension. Breath work, exercise and journaling are some of the many practices someone can implement or consistent relief, according to the CDC.
Ultimately, Arnett argues stress and anxiety can be harnessed and used to someone’s advantage if they can identify the stressors.
“Anxiety is a motivator, and so it’s possible to use it constructively,” Arnett said. “What are those things for you? And how can you relieve that sense of being oppressed by them and threatened by them?” |
